Friday, 29 January 2016

The commute.

Welcome to the commute home.

It's Friday. I'm exhausted, pretty sure I have an eye infection and the trains are fucked.

Other than that, I'm actually really happy.

Okay, I'm so tired I could cry but that's not going to happen as my eye hurts too much. Go figure.

Instead I'm cozied up on an uncomfortable train listening to Bon Jovi, reading Cosmo and wishing I had bought the Double Decker Duo rather than the single one. Yeah, I'm greedy, what of it?!

It's been one of those weeks that even as it ended, I wondered what on earth I have done. I haven't clocked the same site hours that I normally would have liked to have done. I certainly haven't attended ALL the meetings I probably should have done. (Here's looking at you 12:00 today; my leftover chow mein called. You didn't.)

What did I achieve? I realised I have a lot of support in my team. They want to help me be the best I can be. I've learnt that I really want to be successful in my career. I've learnt that it's important to put your name out there and be reconsider. Lesson No 3? It's okay to down tools and do the shit tomorrow. Sometimes that makes you stronger; that clear mind really helps with everything.

So I am going to lay back now and dream of the fish and chips that await me when  I get off this blasted train. This hour is my time.

Sunday, 24 January 2016

It's all new.

I'm ready to write again and it feels good. I guess I always forced myself to have to write about makeup and all the things I thought I wanted my blog to be. It's not about that.

It's called The Life of Ashi for a reason. It's my space and I will do what I want dammit!

Things have been up and down lately.

I've found myself at work and it feels amazing. I'm learning and I feel stronger and more confident every day. I'm surrounded by people that want to help me better myself. University was difficult for so many reasons, This job is my new start and all I want is to be the best person that I can.

I'm a true believer in that music can really take an effect on your life. The words can be fate. "You're going to reap just what you sow." I've heard Perfect Day by Lou Reed a few times recently. Countless times in my life, but a few times recently. So this is to be added to my list of personal development goals. No.8: Be the best that I can be.

Another up and down is my personal life. I'm not going to get into this too deep here, I think it's just fair to say that I need to learn to be me for a bit. I've always relied on needing a partner, a constant best friend for happiness. I don't need to. Perhaps it is time for me to learn to be my own best friend. Time to look out for number 1.

I'm not saying I'm okay. I'd be lying if I said I am happy and that I missed nobody because I do. I just hope that one day the people I miss will be okay. Then I will be okay too.

There's plenty of things that I want to do and say but for now I will sign off and see what words come next. Hopefully soon.